{"id":7069,"date":"2021-06-01T17:25:05","date_gmt":"2021-06-01T15:25:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/?p=7069"},"modified":"2021-06-30T10:45:18","modified_gmt":"2021-06-30T08:45:18","slug":"epilogue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/my-friend-called-anorexia\/epilogue\/","title":{"rendered":"Epilogue"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"vce-row-container\" data-vce-boxed-width=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-row vce-row--col-gap-30 vce-row-columns--top vce-row-content--top\" id=\"el-40a421e8\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-40a421e8\"><div class=\"vce-row-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-auto vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-last vce-col--lg-last vce-col--xl-last vce-col--md-first vce-col--lg-first vce-col--xl-first\" id=\"el-7ea4f4e4\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-7ea4f4e4\"><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-7ea4f4e4\"><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-3de7b232\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-3de7b232\"><h3><span style=\"color: #263056;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24pt;\">||<\/span> THE PODCAST<\/span><\/h3><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-row-container\"><div class=\"vce-row vce-row--col-gap-30 vce-row-columns--top vce-row-content--top\" data-vce-full-width=\"true\" data-vce-stretch-content=\"true\" id=\"el-026280a5\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-026280a5\"><div class=\"vce-content-background-container\"><\/div><div class=\"vce-row-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-18-81p vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-first vce-col--lg-first vce-col--xl-first\" id=\"el-579af800\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-579af800\"><div class=\"vce-content-background-container\"><\/div><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-579af800\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-64-49p vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first\" id=\"el-b28d9d54\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-b28d9d54\"><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-b28d9d54\"><div class=\"vce-row-container\" data-vce-boxed-width=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-row vce-row--col-gap-30 podcast-link vce-row-columns--top vce-row-content--top\" id=\"el-94448e21\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-94448e21\"><div class=\"vce-row-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-auto vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-last vce-col--lg-last vce-col--xl-last vce-col--md-first vce-col--lg-first vce-col--xl-first\" id=\"el-df8460c6\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-df8460c6\"><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-df8460c6\"><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-860a1bc0\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-860a1bc0\"><h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-top: 0px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">Listen to our podcast on your favorite streaming platform :<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-single-image-container spotify-icon vce-single-image--align-center\"><div class=\"vce vce-single-image-wrapper\" id=\"el-5931ac21\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-5931ac21\"><figure><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/episode\/0bi8LzIdU2Of60OiPeh60X?si=URtWoUI0Rz2-9Z1cxMLSOw\" title=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Spotify\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"vce-single-image-inner vce-single-image--absolute\" style=\"padding-bottom: 100%; width: 50px;\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"vce-single-image\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\" src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-50x50.png\" srcset=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-320x320.png 320w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-480x480.png 480w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-800x800.png 800w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-50x50.png 50w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-100x100.png 2x\" data-img-src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/spotify512px.png\" alt=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Spotify\" title=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Spotify\" \/><\/a><figcaption hidden=\"\"><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-single-image-container vce-single-image--align-center\"><div class=\"vce vce-single-image-wrapper\" id=\"el-65690738\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-65690738\"><figure><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/frictions\/id1521437948\" title=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Apple podcast\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"vce-single-image-inner vce-single-image--absolute\" style=\"padding-bottom: 100%; width: 50px;\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"vce-single-image\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\" src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Apple_Podcast_Icon512px-1-50x50.png\" srcset=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Apple_Podcast_Icon512px-1-320x320.png 320w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Apple_Podcast_Icon512px-1-480x480.png 480w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Apple_Podcast_Icon512px-1-800x800.png 800w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Apple_Podcast_Icon512px-1-50x50.png 50w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Apple_Podcast_Icon512px-1-100x100.png 2x\" data-img-src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Apple_Podcast_Icon512px-1.png\" alt=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Apple Podcast\" title=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Apple podcast\" \/><\/a><figcaption hidden=\"\"><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-single-image-container vce-single-image--align-center\"><div class=\"vce vce-single-image-wrapper\" id=\"el-1e742bb3\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-1e742bb3\"><figure><a href=\"https:\/\/deezer.page.link\/yJF2BEaJ5NUUbAhW7\" title=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Deezer\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"vce-single-image-inner vce-single-image--absolute\" style=\"padding-bottom: 100%; width: 50px;\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"vce-single-image\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\" src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-50x50.png\" srcset=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-320x320.png 320w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-480x480.png 480w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-800x800.png 800w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-50x50.png 50w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-100x100.png 2x\" data-img-src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/deezer512pxcolor.png\" alt=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Deezer\" title=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Deezer\" \/><\/a><figcaption hidden=\"\"><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-raw-html\"><div class=\"vce-raw-html-wrapper\" id=\"el-3c9c4b3f\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-3c9c4b3f\"><iframe frameborder=\"0\" loading=\"lazy\" id=\"ausha-NSnA\" height=\"500\" style=\"border: none; width:100%; height:500px\" src=\"https:\/\/player.ausha.co\/index.html?showId=yJjeJSgegGeA&amp;display=vertical&amp;color=%23F08080&amp;dark=true&amp;multishow=true&amp;podcastId=bzZGRs1qjQOY&amp;v=3&amp;playerId=ausha-NSnA\"><\/iframe><script src=\"https:\/\/player.ausha.co\/ausha-player.js\"><\/script>\n<\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-a88bbc49\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-a88bbc49\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-9aacf39d\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-9aacf39d\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt feels like I\u2019m living what I should have lived when I was 21, except that I can enjoy it a lot more now, because I am healed and independent. It\u2019s almost better to be 21 when you are 31. I will never get back the time I should have spent carefree and that I didn\u2019t get to experience because I was ill; but being 100% present and living in the moment allows me to make up for that time, somehow. And I enjoy it immensely.\u201d<\/span><\/p><blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI learned that I want to be the kind of person who doesn\u2019t judge others, who they are or how they react. I don\u2019t think there is such a thing as a \u2018normal person\u2019 or a \u2018normal behavior\u2019. There is no \u2018normal\u2019 way to react when you are confronted with shock or illness.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Although Mathilde won\u2019t go as far as to say she is \u2018glad\u2019 she had anorexia, she is certainly glad that she recovered from it and learned a few things in the process. She explains that recovering from anorexia was a freeing experience that enabled her to break free from her inner demons and from the things she couldn\u2019t handle before. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI learned that I want to be the kind of person who doesn\u2019t judge others, who they are or how they react. I don\u2019t think there is such a thing as a \u2018normal person\u2019 or a \u2018normal behavior\u2019. There is no \u2018normal\u2019 way to react when you are confronted with shock or illness.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I ask my friend how she would describe herself today. \u201cToday, I know what I no longer want, I\u2019m starting to know what I <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">do<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> want, and to act accordingly \u2014 something that I wouldn\u2019t do before. I allow myself to feel good, which is also new. I am rather happy, most of the time; I love partying; I love my friends, my family, and having a good time. I don\u2019t like routines, and I enjoy facing a challenge, especially when it\u2019s a bit absurd or crazy. I am more daring, I have more self-confidence. I\u2019m doing the best I can and I don\u2019t beat myself up as much as I used to when things don\u2019t go as well as I would like. As for my physical appearance\u2026 well, I don\u2019t think about it so much anymore.\u201d<\/span><\/p><blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI\u2019m trying to be someone I can rely on, and I know I still have to be patient, to not be too hard on myself when I fail.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Since the last time I saw her, Mathilde cleared out her apartment and left, a bit impulsively, to see what it was like to live in Cambodia. We call each other often and she tells me all about her new adventures \u2014 the motorbike she intends to buy, the places she managed to visit in these pandemic times\u2026 She even tells me how her dislike for supermarkets is counterbalanced by the novelty of shopping in a foreign country where you get to see all sorts of things you have never seen before.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before she left, Mathilde gave me her notebooks. I looked at the very last one. On the last page, she wrote:<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;\u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Today, I\u2019m still learning; I am very wary, especially of myself. <\/span><\/i><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019m trying to be someone I can rely on, and I know I still have to be patient, to not be too hard on myself when I fail, to process failure <\/span><\/i><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014 this is what remains the hardest. I need to learn to take my time; to understand that things won\u2019t change overnight \u2014 and accept it. T<\/span><\/i><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hese are the terms that will allow a bit of light to get in again.<\/span><\/i> <strong><i>This note is a goodbye letter to Anorexia. It\u2019s up to me now not to let her sit at my table. To tell her she doesn\u2019t belong here, show her that I can exist without her. It\u2019s time I begin to fight for myself \u2014 and for myself only.<\/i><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-16-66p vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-last vce-col--lg-last vce-col--xl-last\" id=\"el-940b7b9c\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-940b7b9c\"><div class=\"vce-content-background-container\"><\/div><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-940b7b9c\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-row-container\" data-vce-boxed-width=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-row vce-row--col-gap-30 vce-row-columns--top vce-row-content--top\" id=\"el-ff81a8e7\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-ff81a8e7\"><div class=\"vce-row-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-auto vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-last vce-col--lg-last vce-col--xl-last vce-col--md-first vce-col--lg-first vce-col--xl-first\" id=\"el-cf155260\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-cf155260\"><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-cf155260\"><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-72d16b7c\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-72d16b7c\"><h2 style=\"margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16pt; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal;\">To read more of Mathilde's diaries : <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.fr\/Anorexia-mon-amour-\u00e9dition-fran\u00e7aise\/dp\/109734276X\"><em>Anorexia mon amour<\/em>,&nbsp;\u00e9dition fran\u00e7aise disponible sur Amazon<\/a><\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><div id=\"el-2b30419b\" class=\"\"><div class=\"vce vce-add-to-any-share-buttons\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all 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srcset=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Portrait-Lola-150x150.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Portrait-Lola-70x70.jpeg 70w, https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Portrait-Lola-526x526.jpeg 526w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 100px) 100vw, 100px\" \/>                <\/span>\n                \t<\/div>\n\n    <!-- Author social -->\n    \n    <!-- Author data -->\n    <div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-data\">\n\n        <!-- Author name -->\n        \n<div class=\"m-a-box-name m-a-box-title\">\n\t<h5 itemprop=\"name\">\n                        <span>\n\t\t\t        Lola Bertet                <\/span>\n\t            \t<\/h5>\n<\/div>\n        <!-- Author metadata -->\n        \n<div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-meta\">\n\n    \n    \n    \n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t        \t\t<script type=\"text\/javascript\" language=\"JavaScript\">\n\t\t\tif ( typeof window.ToggleAuthorshipData === 'undefined' )\n\t\t\t{\n\t\t\t\tfunction ToggleAuthorshipData(id, author)\n\t\t\t\t{\n\t\t\t\t\tlet box_selector = '#mab-' + id;\n                    let box = document.querySelector(box_selector);\n                    if ( box.getAttribute('data-multiauthor') ) box_selector = '#mab-' + id + ' [data-author-ref=\"' + author + '\"]';\n                    let label = document.querySelector(box_selector + ' ' + '.m-a-box-data-toggle');\n\t\t\t\t\tlabel.innerHTML = ( label.text.trim() === \"Plus de publications\" ? \" <span class=\\\"m-a-box-string-bio\\\">Biographie<\/span>\" : \" <span class=\\\"m-a-box-string-more-posts\\\">Plus de publications<\/span>\" );\n                    let bio     = document.querySelector(box_selector + ' ' + '.m-a-box-bio');\n                    let related = document.querySelector(box_selector + ' ' + '.m-a-box-related-entries');\n\n\t\t\t\t\tif ( related.style.display === \"none\" )\n\t\t\t\t\t{\n\t\t\t\t\t\trelated.style.display = 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After her studies in theatre focused on dramaturgy, she discovered the world of podcasts. She launched her first one in 2016, titled \"Dans la Loge\" [\"Backstage\"], a series of interviews with female performers. She received training at Radio Campus Paris, Longueurs d'Ondes before going back to university to complete a master's degree in Journalism. In 2020, she self-produced a podcast called \"D\u00e9placement(s)\" [\"Shifting\"]: life trajectories turned upside down consequently to the Covid-19 crisis.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n        \n            <!-- Author related posts -->\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related\" data-related-layout=\"layout-1\">\n                <div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-related-entries\" style=\"display: none;\">\n\n                    <ul>\n                            <li>\n        <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\">\n            <div class=\"molongui-display-none\" itemprop=\"author\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n                <div itemprop=\"name\">Lola Bertet<\/div>\n                <div itemprop=\"url\">#molongui-disabled-link<\/div>\n            <\/div>\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry-title\">\n                <i class=\"m-a-icon-doc\"><\/i>\n                <a class=\"molongui-remove-underline\" href=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/9-to-5-the-time-of-your-life-s4\/the-most-beautiful-job-in-the-world\/\" itemprop=\"url\">\n                    <span itemprop=\"headline\">The most beautiful job in the world ?<\/span>\n                <\/a>\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/li>\n        <li>\n        <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\">\n            <div class=\"molongui-display-none\" itemprop=\"author\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n                <div itemprop=\"name\">Lola Bertet<\/div>\n                <div itemprop=\"url\">#molongui-disabled-link<\/div>\n            <\/div>\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry-title\">\n                <i class=\"m-a-icon-doc\"><\/i>\n                <a class=\"molongui-remove-underline\" href=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/my-friend-called-anorexia\/ep4-une-longue-journee\/\" itemprop=\"url\">\n                    <span itemprop=\"headline\">Ep #4 - A Long Day<\/span>\n                <\/a>\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/li>\n        <li>\n        <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\">\n            <div class=\"molongui-display-none\" itemprop=\"author\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n                <div itemprop=\"name\">Lola Bertet<\/div>\n                <div itemprop=\"url\">#molongui-disabled-link<\/div>\n            <\/div>\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry-title\">\n                <i class=\"m-a-icon-doc\"><\/i>\n                <a class=\"molongui-remove-underline\" href=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/my-friend-called-anorexia\/ep-3-lenfer\/\" itemprop=\"url\">\n                    <span itemprop=\"headline\">Ep #3 - In Hell<\/span>\n                <\/a>\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/li>\n        <li>\n        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