{"id":7063,"date":"2021-06-01T17:19:38","date_gmt":"2021-06-01T15:19:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/?p=7063"},"modified":"2021-06-29T17:27:34","modified_gmt":"2021-06-29T15:27:34","slug":"ep-3-lenfer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/my-friend-called-anorexia\/ep-3-lenfer\/","title":{"rendered":"Ep #3 \u2013 In Hell"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"vce-row-container\" data-vce-boxed-width=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-row vce-row--col-gap-30 vce-row-columns--top vce-row-content--top\" id=\"el-8876da8d\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-8876da8d\"><div class=\"vce-row-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-auto vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-last vce-col--lg-last vce-col--xl-last vce-col--md-first vce-col--lg-first vce-col--xl-first\" id=\"el-9db1ea85\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-9db1ea85\"><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-9db1ea85\"><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-653c0b4b\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-653c0b4b\"><h3><span style=\"color: #263056;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24pt;\">||<\/span> THE PODCAST<\/span><\/h3><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-row-container\"><div class=\"vce-row vce-row--col-gap-30 vce-row-columns--top vce-row-content--top\" data-vce-full-width=\"true\" data-vce-stretch-content=\"true\" id=\"el-ca1aad60\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-ca1aad60\"><div class=\"vce-content-background-container\"><\/div><div class=\"vce-row-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-18-81p vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-first vce-col--lg-first vce-col--xl-first\" id=\"el-54f0f504\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-54f0f504\"><div class=\"vce-content-background-container\"><\/div><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-54f0f504\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-64-49p vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first\" id=\"el-ac8dcfd9\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-ac8dcfd9\"><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-ac8dcfd9\"><div class=\"vce-row-container\" data-vce-boxed-width=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-row vce-row--col-gap-30 podcast-link vce-row-columns--top vce-row-content--top\" id=\"el-242b4259\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-242b4259\"><div class=\"vce-row-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-auto vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-last vce-col--lg-last vce-col--xl-last vce-col--md-first vce-col--lg-first vce-col--xl-first\" id=\"el-8f1393ff\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-8f1393ff\"><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-8f1393ff\"><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-1b5a13b5\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-1b5a13b5\"><h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-top: 0px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">Listen to our podcast on your favorite streaming platform :<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-single-image-container spotify-icon vce-single-image--align-center\"><div class=\"vce vce-single-image-wrapper\" id=\"el-d60464e6\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-d60464e6\"><figure><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/episode\/18FYyYHiYnCAfhAUFUbRXT?si=R-_LcnJWQUutsMpQgRNWmA\" title=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Spotify\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"vce-single-image-inner vce-single-image--absolute\" style=\"padding-bottom: 100%; width: 50px;\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"vce-single-image\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\" src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-50x50.png\" srcset=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-320x320.png 320w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-480x480.png 480w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-800x800.png 800w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-50x50.png 50w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/spotify512px-100x100.png 2x\" data-img-src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/spotify512px.png\" alt=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Spotify\" title=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Spotify\" \/><\/a><figcaption hidden=\"\"><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-single-image-container vce-single-image--align-center\"><div class=\"vce vce-single-image-wrapper\" id=\"el-27ac5b8c\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-27ac5b8c\"><figure><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/frictions\/id1521437948\" title=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Apple podcast\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"vce-single-image-inner vce-single-image--absolute\" style=\"padding-bottom: 100%; 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width: 50px;\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"vce-single-image\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\" src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-50x50.png\" srcset=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-320x320.png 320w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-480x480.png 480w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-800x800.png 800w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-50x50.png 50w,https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/deezer512pxcolor-100x100.png 2x\" data-img-src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/deezer512pxcolor.png\" alt=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Deezer\" title=\"Ecouter le podcast sur Deezer\" \/><\/a><figcaption hidden=\"\"><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-raw-html\"><div class=\"vce-raw-html-wrapper\" id=\"el-04e8c218\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-04e8c218\"><iframe frameborder=\"0\" loading=\"lazy\" id=\"ausha-rLc8\" height=\"500\" style=\"border: none; width:100%; height:500px\" src=\"https:\/\/player.ausha.co\/index.html?showId=yJjeJSgegGeA&amp;display=vertical&amp;color=%23F08080&amp;dark=true&amp;multishow=true&amp;podcastId=odwMGCRlPNYe&amp;v=3&amp;playerId=ausha-rLc8\"><\/iframe><script src=\"https:\/\/player.ausha.co\/ausha-player.js\"><\/script>\n<\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-661077c2\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-661077c2\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><strong>Everything that\u2019s private is monitored<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: to pee, to eat, the interactions between patients; and you don\u2019t have access to the Internet or your cellphone. The only things left were books and TV. There were bars on the windows, which we couldn\u2019t even open.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mathilde was admitted to the hospital in May 2011, ten months after she became ill. I ask her which goals her hospitalization aimed to accomplish, which conditions would need to be met for her discharge.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhen you are admitted to the inpatient unit,\u201d Mathilde recounts, \u201ctheir first mission is to make sure you are medically cleared, which means you have to get physically healthy and regain weight \u2014 roughly two pounds a week. They also put you on medication: mood stabilizers, anxiolytics, antidepressants. You don\u2019t even know exactly what you\u2019re given. And you have to stay still; you have to spend a lot of your time immobile.\u201d She mentions the contract established at the beginning: \u201cReceiving visitors, the connection with my family, school work, the things that you enjoy, they call them \u2018reinforcements\u2019. When you fail to complete a goal, a reinforcement is withdrawn. If you don\u2019t complete any goals during the week, you won\u2019t get anything at all \u2014 no visitors, no phone, nothing.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Treatment is composed of three different phases. The first step was to put on twenty pounds. For two weeks, she was not allowed to communicate with her family and felt extremely lonely. Her stay in the psychiatric ward of the hospital lasted four months \u2014 a time span that she experienced like a prison sentence, or a stay in hell.<\/span><\/p><p><strong>\u201cThe hardest things there when you have anorexia, are to let go of your rules and rituals, to give up your control and relinquish it to the hospital staff; to go through long periods of solitude; and to eat again, to lose the sensation of emptiness and experience a harrowing fullness in your stomach.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Alain Perroud tells me more about the challenges that come with regaining weight for patients with anorexia: \u201cIt is a very painful process: they are confronted with the fear of losing the control they sought and had, the fear of seeing their body change, of regaining their insecurities. During this arduous part of recovery, it is important that the health professionals take good care of the patients.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mathilde describes a typical day in the unit: \u201cYou wake up at 7 am and go take a shower. Then breakfast is served; more often than not you don\u2019t get to choose where you sit. They check that you eat all the bread and finish the jam \u2014 because if you leave some, then it means that you are \u2018not compliant\u2019, which means that you won\u2019t be entitled to the reinforcement that comes with eating everything on your plate. Then you go to your room to rest for an hour and a half \u2014 and when I say \u2018rest\u2019, I don\u2019t mean doing whatever you like, I mean taking a seat or lying down and not being allowed to move an inch. Then you are supposed to \u2018socialize\u2019 with the other patients by doing collage or sudoku. Tea time is at 4 pm, followed by another hour of remaining perfectly still in your room \u2014 DVDs basically become your best ally. Dinner is served at 6:30; nurses patrol the room to make sure you don\u2019t discuss topics that aren\u2019t allowed. And finally you get up to take the pills that have been prescribed to you.\u201d Mathilde laughs as she speaks about this, but as she acknowledges herself, it\u2019s a nervous laughter.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For weeks she didn\u2019t have access to a full length mirror. One day, the decision is made for her that she\u2019s ready to see herself in a mirror \u2014 to see her body with the newly gained weight. \u201cThey just told me to follow them and led me to a mirror. And I broke down. Because when you put on two pounds a week, it is not distributed harmoniously. My legs were skinny and my upper body looked swollen.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When she reached phase 2 of the treatment, Mathilde was allowed to take part in activities such as supervised cooking sessions. She also had the right to go out and see her visitors in other places than the common room \u2014 a walk in the park, going for a coffee\u2026 One of the tasks expected from them in that second phase was to be invited for a <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">go\u00fbter<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and prepare one themselves. To make it to phase 3, when she is progressively allowed to spend some time back home, there was another challenge which makes Mathilde laugh: \u201cYou had to go to the restaurant with your nurse. They didn\u2019t warn you in advance; they simply came to you like, \u2018Girls, get ready, we\u2019re going to the restaurant tonight\u2019. It was such an absurd situation. The girls who come with you aren\u2019t necessarily your friends, see? So you end up in a restaurant with a nurse and three other girls you\u2019ve hardly spoken to before, sharing grim looks while the nurse is trying to put everyone at ease. She was nice that night, but still, we had to eat a whole pizza, a thing we hadn\u2019t had for years and that was basically the devil incarnate.\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think the hardest thing for me is to handle my femininity, to be a woman. I want to be desired, but when I am, I feel somehow soiled<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Throughout her hospitalization, Mathilde journaled, making collages and taking notes about her treatment and her illness. She kept the seven notebooks, and today she shows them to me. \u201cI would always write the same things, because everyday always looked the same. When I tried to write, it took so much of my energy; and as I was interested in clothing and received a lot of magazines when I went inpatient, I would make collages of pretty girls or even random stuff. Sometimes I didn\u2019t even know why I was doing it, I wasn\u2019t looking at the pictures, I would just cut and paste them.\u201d She reads an extract out loud \u2014 July 3rd, 2011, three weeks into her hospitalization: \u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I want to work in fashion. I don\u2019t really know how to express my uneasy feelings, so the pictures do just that for me.\u201d <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another one: <\/span><strong><i>\u201cAnger makes me so tired, sometimes resentment swallows me whole. I want to shout that I\u2019m hurting, that I\u2019m mad at everyone and I want it to show.<\/i>\u201d<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> She comments on this: \u201cI resented everyone: society, magazines, models, the nurse\u2026 even the tiny ant that would venture into my room. Inwardly I was fuming; it was like being a fireball inside. That\u2019s why I needed to write. I just wanted to disappear and to be left alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I notice passages written in capital letters, in red: <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c6 am I\u2019m already awake, as if it was 11. Eyes wide open. Can\u2019t manage to go back to sleep. That\u2019s life. Shower in one hour. I don\u2019t know why I stay here, to pee in jars and be stuffed. 93lb is fine with me<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think the hardest thing for me is to handle my femininity, to be a woman. I want to be desired, but when I am, I feel somehow soiled<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;\u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether I\u2019m ill or not, I won\u2019t do it, they can go to hell with their 124lb, or else I\u2019ll lose all the weight again when I\u2019m discharged. My body isn\u2019t me; it\u2019s a stranger, an enemy, the thing that binds me to the earth and limits my dreams, my desire to be nothing but thin air. I don\u2019t want to be on the earth but in the sky. I did one hundred and sixty sit-ups, as I felt too much guilt for what I ate. But hey, I think I got caught. Too bad for me. And here\u2019s to hyperactivity.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Eating revives the anger within me \u2014 that freaking anger. But why? I\u2019m stuffing my face and not moving, to not burn the calories. But what about in real life? Will we have rest times that last two hours, too? I mean\u2026 sometimes I feel like I\u2019m going to lose my mind<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u201d&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I ask Mathilde about what she struggled with the most when she was in the psychiatric ward. She answers straight away: <\/span><strong>\u201cBeing treated like a child and being deprived of freedom. The realization that my free will, my freedom of movement, had been taken away from me. And the absence of privacy. The feeling of being dispossessed of my body and everyday actions.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And indeed I am really shocked by this system of reward\/punishment, of control over everything that's private. I don\u2019t understand the therapeutic benefits of such rules. I asked Alain Perroud about the value of this method. \u201cI\u2019ve been advocating against such practices for twenty-five years,\u201d he admits. \u201cThey are traumatic and unhelpful, because they\u2019re both harmful and inefficient. They should have disappeared from the health care providers\u2019 practices a long time ago. Nowhere in the world has any study ever proved that it was useful; and yet that is most of the time how it works in France, in the units offering treatment for eating disorders.\u201d<\/span><\/p><blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The weight contract establishes a form of duality between \u2018the good doctor\u2019 and \u2018the naughty patient\u2019 who is either compliant or non-compliant with what they are asked to do.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I also asked him about the relevance of a weight-based contract established between the doctors and the patient. Once again, Alain Perroud condemns a practice that he finds unhelpful and inhumane. \u201cIt became a habit to build this contract on how much weight the patient agrees to put on each week, with rewards if they succeed, punishments if they don\u2019t. These goals are imposed by the medical staff; it all comes from the staff and is hardly ever discussed with the patient. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The very notion of a contract is opposed to the foundation of a therapy, which is a cooperation: the patient is fighting <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">against<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> anorexia and the practitioner is fighting <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">with<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> them, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">on their side<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. The weight contract establishes a form of duality between \u2018the good doctor\u2019 and \u2018the naughty patient\u2019 who is either compliant or non-compliant with what they are asked to do.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mathilde went through the three phases and was finally discharged from the hospital. Soon enough, she noticed that instead of simply going back to her life as she expected, she was feeling deeply disconnected from the world. \u201cI was tired all the time. I no longer knew how to be, how to behave normally.\u201d It took a bit more than four months for her to be able to go back to her \u2018normal life\u2019. But the way she experienced her daily life was not \u2018normal\u2019: she found herself struggling, haunted by her time in hospital. \u201cI wasn\u2019t used to being around people anymore,\u201d she says. \u201cI didn\u2019t know what to say to them. And I was constantly afraid of being punished. At home, if we didn\u2019t eat at 12:00 sharp, by 12:15 I was in tears. I was scared that, if I didn\u2019t follow the strict schedule I had been taught to follow in the hospital, I would have to go back there.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt\u2019s almost as if, in the hospital, I was deprived of my free will, I had reverted to being a little girl. It makes me anxious. I am the opposite of what anorexia turned me into. I am swollen, depressed, scared of everything \u2014 scared of what I might say or do. I\u2019m scared of the label they put on me: anorexia nervosa. I\u2019m not so much scared of my illness so much as I am scared of the treatment, of feeling imprisoned<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI didn\u2019t know what to say,\u201d Mathilde goes on, \u201cbecause I was just coming out of a very long day, a day that had lasted four and a half months. It had been so monotonous and still it was so difficult to talk about. I didn\u2019t want to let the people I loved know how hard it had been for me.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In her notebooks, there isn\u2019t much content about the time that followed her release from the hospital. I know she attended a day hospital and briefly worked as a salesgirl in a clothing store. She was on antidepressants, anxiolytics and mood stabilizers, which made it hard for her to concentrate and to feel her emotions. She tells me, with a tad of guilt in her voice, that it didn\u2019t last long until she decided to stop taking her meds. She felt gradually better and readjusted to her daily life; but it was only after eight months following her discharge that she was able to make plans for her future.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI decided to resume my education and found a work study program in a field I really enjoyed \u2014 film and audiovisual. But within two weeks after getting back to school in September, I realized that it was impossible for me to stay focused in class for more than one hour. I really wanted it to work, I really tried to study, but it wouldn\u2019t work. I went back to see the doctors and they told me it was the consequences of what the illness had done to my brain. <\/span><strong>We\u2019ve talked a lot about my body, but the impact on the brain is equally important. The brain needs fat and sugar to work. Neural pathways that had been lost needed to be rewired. It would take time for me to recover my concentration and memory.<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> And so I was really struggling mentally as well as academically, and slowly, without even realizing it or trying to control it, I began to lose weight again. And that\u2019s when I realized it was really an illness.\u201d Like many people suffering from anorexia, Mathilde experienced a relapse. \u201cIn November 2012, I got sick \u2014 caught a cold or something \u2014 which caused me to drop a few pounds in no time. I didn\u2019t gain them back and my weight started to slowly decrease back to where I was the first time. I decided to call the hospital, even though I was still having nightmares about my time there and didn\u2019t want to go back \u2014 because for the first time I acknowledged that I really needed help.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For the second time, Mathilde is admitted to the inpatient hospital. She says this one was the worst, because she had been so sure she wouldn\u2019t relapse, she wanted so badly not to disappoint anybody. The relapse added to the feeling of failure for having to drop out of school once again. At this point, Mathilde had no clue about what she was going to do with her life; she says, \u201cI didn\u2019t think it would take so much time to recover.\u201d <\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-16-66p vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-last vce-col--lg-last vce-col--xl-last\" id=\"el-d637bd8b\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background  el-d637bd8b\"><div class=\"vce-content-background-container\"><\/div><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-d637bd8b\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-row-container\" data-vce-boxed-width=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-row vce-row--col-gap-30 vce-row-columns--top vce-row-content--top\" id=\"el-6be6216d\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-6be6216d\"><div class=\"vce-row-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-col 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href=\"https:\/\/www.addtoany.com\/add_to\/facebook_messenger?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fprod-2018.frictions.co%2Fenglish%2Fmy-friend-called-anorexia%2Fep-3-lenfer%2F&amp;linkname=Ep%20%233%20%E2%80%93%20L%E2%80%99enfer\" title=\"Messenger\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a class=\"a2a_button_email\" href=\"https:\/\/www.addtoany.com\/add_to\/email?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fprod-2018.frictions.co%2Fenglish%2Fmy-friend-called-anorexia%2Fep-3-lenfer%2F&amp;linkname=Ep%20%233%20%E2%80%93%20L%E2%80%99enfer\" title=\"E-mail\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-28d28d13\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-28d28d13\"><p>Don't miss the next stories ...!<\/p><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-raw-html\"><div class=\"vce-raw-html-wrapper\" id=\"el-70b986e7\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-70b986e7\"><!-- Begin Mailchimp Signup Form -->\n<link 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data-author-type=\"guest\"\n     data-author-archived=\"\">\n\n\t\n    <div class=\"m-a-box-container\">\n\n        <div class=\"m-a-box-tab m-a-box-content m-a-box-profile\"\n             data-profile-layout=\"layout-1\"\n             data-author-ref=\"guest-7046\"\n             itemscope itemid=\"#molongui-disabled-link\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/Person\"        >\n            \n<div class=\"m-a-box-content-top\">\n\n\t\n<\/div><!-- End of .m-a-box-content-top -->\n\n<div class=\"m-a-box-content-middle\">\n\n    <!-- Author picture -->\n    \n\t<div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-avatar\" data-source=\"local\">\n\t\t                <span>\n                    <img src=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Portrait-Lola-150x150.jpeg\" class=\"attachment-100x100 size-100x100 wp-post-image\" alt=\"Portrait Lola\" itemprop=\"image\" srcset=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Portrait-Lola-150x150.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Portrait-Lola-70x70.jpeg 70w, https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Portrait-Lola-526x526.jpeg 526w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 100px) 100vw, 100px\" \/>                <\/span>\n                \t<\/div>\n\n    <!-- Author social -->\n    \n    <!-- Author data -->\n    <div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-data\">\n\n        <!-- Author name -->\n        \n<div class=\"m-a-box-name m-a-box-title\">\n\t<h5 itemprop=\"name\">\n                        <span>\n\t\t\t        Lola Bertet                <\/span>\n\t            \t<\/h5>\n<\/div>\n        <!-- Author metadata -->\n        \n<div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-meta\">\n\n    \n    \n    \n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t        \t\t<script type=\"text\/javascript\" language=\"JavaScript\">\n\t\t\tif ( typeof window.ToggleAuthorshipData === 'undefined' )\n\t\t\t{\n\t\t\t\tfunction ToggleAuthorshipData(id, author)\n\t\t\t\t{\n\t\t\t\t\tlet box_selector = '#mab-' + 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\"none\";\n\t\t\t\t\t\tbio.style.display     = \"block\";\n\t\t\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t<\/script>\n\t\t<a href=\"javascript:ToggleAuthorshipData(1526652025, 'guest-7046')\" class=\"m-a-box-data-toggle\" > <span class=\"m-a-box-string-more-posts\">More stories<\/span> <\/a>\n\t\n<\/div><!-- End of .m-a-box-meta -->\n\n        <!-- Author bio -->\n        \n<div class=\"m-a-box-bio\" itemprop=\"description\">\n    <p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Born in Paris in 1993, Lola developed a passion for stories early on. After her studies in theatre focused on dramaturgy, she discovered the world of podcasts. She launched her first one in 2016, titled \"Dans la Loge\" [\"Backstage\"], a series of interviews with female performers. She received training at Radio Campus Paris, Longueurs d'Ondes before going back to university to complete a master's degree in Journalism. In 2020, she self-produced a podcast called \"D\u00e9placement(s)\" [\"Shifting\"]: life trajectories turned upside down consequently to the Covid-19 crisis.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n        \n            <!-- Author related posts -->\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related\" data-related-layout=\"layout-1\">\n                <div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-related-entries\" style=\"display: none;\">\n\n                    <ul>\n                            <li>\n        <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\">\n            <div class=\"molongui-display-none\" itemprop=\"author\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n                <div itemprop=\"name\">Lola Bertet<\/div>\n                <div itemprop=\"url\">#molongui-disabled-link<\/div>\n            <\/div>\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry-title\">\n                <i class=\"m-a-icon-doc\"><\/i>\n                <a class=\"molongui-remove-underline\" href=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/9-to-5-the-time-of-your-life-s4\/the-most-beautiful-job-in-the-world\/\" itemprop=\"url\">\n                    <span itemprop=\"headline\">The most beautiful job in the world ?<\/span>\n                <\/a>\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/li>\n        <li>\n        <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\">\n            <div class=\"molongui-display-none\" itemprop=\"author\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n                <div itemprop=\"name\">Lola Bertet<\/div>\n                <div itemprop=\"url\">#molongui-disabled-link<\/div>\n            <\/div>\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry-title\">\n                <i class=\"m-a-icon-doc\"><\/i>\n                <a class=\"molongui-remove-underline\" href=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/my-friend-called-anorexia\/epilogue\/\" itemprop=\"url\">\n                    <span itemprop=\"headline\">Epilogue<\/span>\n                <\/a>\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/li>\n        <li>\n        <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\">\n            <div class=\"molongui-display-none\" itemprop=\"author\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n                <div itemprop=\"name\">Lola Bertet<\/div>\n                <div itemprop=\"url\">#molongui-disabled-link<\/div>\n            <\/div>\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry-title\">\n                <i class=\"m-a-icon-doc\"><\/i>\n                <a class=\"molongui-remove-underline\" href=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/my-friend-called-anorexia\/ep4-une-longue-journee\/\" itemprop=\"url\">\n                    <span itemprop=\"headline\">Ep #4 - A Long Day<\/span>\n                <\/a>\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/li>\n        <li>\n        <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\">\n            <div class=\"molongui-display-none\" itemprop=\"author\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n                <div itemprop=\"name\">Lola Bertet<\/div>\n                <div itemprop=\"url\">#molongui-disabled-link<\/div>\n            <\/div>\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry-title\">\n                <i class=\"m-a-icon-doc\"><\/i>\n                <a class=\"molongui-remove-underline\" href=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/my-friend-called-anorexia\/ep-2-lune-de-miel\/\" itemprop=\"url\">\n                    <span itemprop=\"headline\">Ep #2 - Honeymoon<\/span>\n                <\/a>\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/li>\n        <li>\n        <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\">\n            <div class=\"molongui-display-none\" itemprop=\"author\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n                <div itemprop=\"name\">Lola Bertet<\/div>\n                <div itemprop=\"url\">#molongui-disabled-link<\/div>\n            <\/div>\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry-title\">\n                <i class=\"m-a-icon-doc\"><\/i>\n                <a class=\"molongui-remove-underline\" href=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/my-friend-called-anorexia\/ep1-une-fille-elegante\/\" itemprop=\"url\">\n                    <span itemprop=\"headline\">Ep #1 - A Fancy Girl<\/span>\n                <\/a>\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/li>\n        <li>\n        <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\">\n            <div class=\"molongui-display-none\" itemprop=\"author\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n                <div itemprop=\"name\">Lola Bertet<\/div>\n                <div itemprop=\"url\">#molongui-disabled-link<\/div>\n            <\/div>\n            <div class=\"m-a-box-related-entry-title\">\n                <i class=\"m-a-icon-doc\"><\/i>\n                <a class=\"molongui-remove-underline\" href=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/my-friend-called-anorexia\/prologue\/\" itemprop=\"url\">\n                    <span itemprop=\"headline\">Prologue<\/span>\n                <\/a>\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/li>\n                        <\/ul>\n\n                <\/div><!-- End of .m-a-box-related-entries -->\n            <\/div><!-- End of .m-a-box-related -->\n\n        \n    <\/div><!-- End of .m-a-box-data -->\n\n<\/div><!-- End of .m-a-box-content-middle -->\n\n<div class=\"m-a-box-content-bottom\"><\/div><!-- End of .m-a-box-content-bottom -->        <\/div><!-- End of .m-a-box-profile -->\n\n        \n    <\/div><!-- End of .m-a-box-container -->\n\n\t\n<\/div><!-- End of .m-a-box --><style id=\"molongui-author-box-shortcode-inline-css\" type=\"text\/css\">#mab-1526652025.m-a-box {width:100%;margin-top: !important;margin-right: !important;margin-bottom: !important;margin-left: !important;}#mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-header {margin-bottom:20px;}#mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-header > :first-child, #mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-header a.m-a-box-header-url {font-size:px;line-height:px;}#mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-container {padding-top:0;padding-right:0;padding-bottom:0;padding-left:0;border-style:solid;border-top-width:0;border-right-width:0;border-bottom-width:0;border-left-width:0;border-color:#e8e8e8;background-color:#f7f8f9;box-shadow:10px 10px 10px transparent ;}#mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-avatar img, #mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-avatar div[data-avatar-type=\"acronym\"] {border-style:solid;border-width:0px;border-color:transparent;border-radius:45%;}#mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-name *  {font-size:15px;line-height:1px;color:#283056 !important;}#mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-content.m-a-box-profile .m-a-box-data .m-a-box-meta * {font-size:12px;line-height:px;color:#283056;}#mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-meta-divider {padding:0 0.2em;}#mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-bio > * {font-size:14px;line-height:px;font-weight:normal;font-style:none;text-align:justify;color:#283056;}#mab-1526652025 .m-icon-container {background-color: inherit; border-color: inherit; color: #283056 !important;font-size:14px;}#mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-related-entry-title, #mab-1526652025 .m-a-box-related-entry-title a {font-size:14px;color:#283056;}@import url('https:\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Montserrat');\n\n\/* Appliquer la police Montserrat \u00e0 tous les \u00e9l\u00e9ments *\/\nbody {\n  font-family: 'Montserrat', sans-serif;\n}\n\n\/* Appliquer la police Montserrat \u00e0 un \u00e9l\u00e9ment sp\u00e9cifique *\/\nh1 {\n  font-family: 'Montserrat', sans-serif;\n}\n\n\/* Appliquer la police Montserrat \u00e0 une classe sp\u00e9cifique *\/\n.my-element {\n  font-family: 'Montserrat', sans-serif;\n}<\/style><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Le s\u00e9jour de Mathilde \u00e0 l&rsquo;h\u00f4pital est extr\u00eamement violent : plusieurs mois durant lesquels elle dit adieu \u00e0 ses proches et \u00e0 l&rsquo;intimit\u00e9.<\/p>\n\t\t<div class=\"more-link-holder\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/my-friend-called-anorexia\/ep-3-lenfer\/\">read more <i class=\"fa fa-angle-double-right\"><\/i><\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":7038,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ub_ctt_via":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[121],"tags":[76,113],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Ep-3-Lenfer-final.jpeg","author_info":{"display_name":"Lola Bertet","author_link":"#molongui-disabled-link"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.5 - 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