{"id":5850,"date":"2021-01-07T19:20:16","date_gmt":"2021-01-07T18:20:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/?p=5850"},"modified":"2021-11-16T14:42:15","modified_gmt":"2021-11-16T13:42:15","slug":"singing-dishes-la-magie-du-marketing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/prod-2018.frictions.co\/english\/9-to-5-the-time-of-your-life-s2\/singing-dishes-the-magic-world-of-marketing\/","title":{"rendered":"Singing Dishes, The Magic Kingdom of Marketing"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"Bienvenue \u00e0 tous.<\/I> Welcome everybody. Can you hear me in London? All\u00f4\u00f4\u00f4\u00f4?<\/I>\"<\/p>

This damn video conference is really acting up again, Jesus\u2026 Even though our technician, R\u00e9gis, assured me firmly that it would work! Rule number 5: Never trust your subordinates. Ever. They can\u2019t imagine the pressure we marketing executives have to deal with everyday. We really can\u2019t afford for it to crash today. The stakes are too high: it\u2019s my product\u2019s brand development day, my baby, Prop dishwasher tablets. It is simply THE iconic product from our dishwashing range: it\u2019s had continuous growth since its rebranding five years ago, comfortable profit margins fiercely contested by our competitors, innovations released every six months. How could poor R\u00e9gis even understand that?<\/p>

As you can guess, the title of Prop Brand Manager is a responsibility at all times. But it gives me a lot of pride as well, after a few years spent stagnating in the Bechamel Sauce section. Prop! Honestly, I wasn\u2019t trying to reach that high. I\u2019d thought of going along the usual track, the winning track: sauces - margarines - tea - ice creams - dishwasher detergent. But I didn\u2019t. Thanks to an unexpected sick leave, the spot became vacant. I immediately applied and put forward the accomplishments I had made in the Bechamel Sauce field: I was particularly proud of the rebound in sales after years at a standstill, thanks to the introduction of a new \"light\" recipe for female customers worried about their weight (obstacle number one in the sales of alimentary sauces according to Ipses and Sofros institutes). That 22% increase in sales sent me directly into the galaxy of marketing heavyweights. I could chat to my General Manager in the elevator, look arrogantly, into the eyes of those that counted in the canteen: the world was going to hear about Marika Guibert!<\/p>

\"Marika? Marika? We can't see you, the screen is black on our side...\"
\n\"Yes, one moment John. Julien!!!! You go to the computer floor and you bring R\u00e9gis back, got it?\"
\nJulien is my trainee. Well, I share him with the other brand managers of Niqel (laundry) and Klin (household cleaner). Not a rocket, this Juju, but he does his job: filling in Excel Dashboards, preparing powerpoints, liaising with the different agencies (Com, Pub, Prod). It saves me the dirty work: in short, I keep my hands clean for Prop. However, probably driven by a rather understandable inferiority complex, he has developed an annoying tendency to act like a little boss... which irritates s M\u00e9lusine (Niqel) and Josepha (Klin) quite a bit. Who does this fresh-out-of-business-school prepubescent think he is? Deep down, I can see through his little game: he\u2019s trying to copy me. I can feel it in that look of admiration, fear and false self-confidence, begging for a crumb of recognition to satisfy his shriveled ego. He would like so much to convince himself that he is not doing this for nothing. That he matters, too. Pathetic.<\/p>

I have to admit: I like provoking that feeling even though, obviously, I don\u2019t show it... Julien needs to go through the same school as everyone else: the school of competition, of low blows and of mercilessness. When you think about it, I\u2019m doing him a favour. If he doesn\u2019t toughen up in this environment, he might as well say goodbye to whatever career he was expecting in marketing. Yes, I\u2019m even helping him out, that poor Julien who showed up here from small-town Dijon. If he makes it in this field, it\u2019ll be thanks to me. Rule number 4: Cultivate subterfuges, you can always use an ally (even if he\u2019s an intern).
\n\"Julien, you on it yet?\"<\/p>

\"Back to what I was saying: Welcome everyone to the Prop Development Day. May I remind you of the goals for today? You can see on the slide: SWOT, 5-year-marketing-plan, retail & pricing, advertising & branding, who does what and when. Questions?\"
\nThe ten or so people sitting around the table, all of them consultants from different agencies, nod solemnly, with a look of serious concern about what is going to be said, exchanged, decided inside this transparent glass-lined bubble, up on the third floor of the Gold Tower in La D\u00e9fense.<\/p>

Margot, Chief Happiness Officer, knocks at the door. Nobody asked for this.
\n\"Hey Margot! You're just in time, come in!\"
\n\"Hello everyone, I'm interrupting for a couple of minutes to talk about the rules (her fingers draw quotes in the air as she articulates), 'work to-ge-ther' at Gold. At the end of the hallway you will find a water fountain \u2014 both still and sparkling \u2014 with free access. On the sixth floor, the cafeteria provides coffee, tea, hot and cold drinks, all our own Gold brands, of course. Please enjoy, they\u2019re half price compared to outside! And for lunch... Marika, what do you have planned - canteen or meal trays?\"
\n\"I ordered sandwiches. We're having a super busy day.\"
\n\"Perfect. Well, now all I can do is wish you a pleasant and productive day at Gold!\"
\n\"Thank you Margot. What would we do without you?\"
<\/p>

\"So, let\u2019s begin with communication. M&B this is for you. I\u2019m handing the cable over to you.\" With an expert move, I disconnect my laptop while the two consultants dash about in all directions, suddenly panicked about wasting time on such a decisive day. But in only a few seconds, the room\u2019s screen lights up in the colours of the communication agency, khaki green and bright yellow (apparently those colours are trendy). The two consultants can barely hide their relief. They sent a senior and a junior, like they often do: the junior gets the practice and the senior takes the glory. As usual. So the junior, some Pierrick? Pierre-Yves? Yvon? starts the presentation off: \"As you can see on that slide, the latest Singing Dishes communication platform is still performing well with consumers.\"<\/p>

TING! Aperitif tonight?<\/I> <\/span>\"..\/..\/..\/..\/..\/..\/Desktop\/Capture%20d\u2019e\u0301cran%202020-08-28%20a\u0300%2011.10.\"\"<\/span><\/p>

Pierryon freezes, waiting for a signal. Keep going with his presentation, or not? I encourage him to continue with a wave of my hand, without looking up from the text message. It\u2019s from Virginie, category manager for Fresh and Sopy laundry products.<\/p>

OK, 9PM?<\/I><\/span><\/p>

TING! Yup. I have to put up with the agencies this afternoon. Awful<\/I> <\/span>\"..\/..\/..\/..\/..\/..\/Desktop\/Capture%20d\u2019e\u0301cran%202020-08-28%20a\u0300%2011.51.\"\"<\/span><\/p>

Tell me about it, I\u2019m stuck with them all day<\/I><\/span><\/p>

TING! <\/span>\"..\/..\/..\/..\/..\/..\/Desktop\/Capture%20d\u2019e\u0301cran%202020-08-28%20a\u0300%2011.08.\"stay strong!<\/I><\/span><\/p>

\"\u2026 And so, Prop displays a score of 9 in purchasing power, which is significantly superior to the norm,\" continues Pierryon timidly, watching for my approval.
\"Hmmm. And compared to last year?\"
Pierryon holds out a trembling index finger towards the screen.
\"It has increased by 20% since N-1\"<\/p>

I sit back in my chair, still with my focused look, ego in a trance: 9 from purchasing power, +20% compared to N+1: it\u2019s good, very good even. There\u2019s an icon, a little green light next to it, that says it all!\n\"Seems logical to go on with the Singing Dishes ads then\u2026 M&B, could you explore the topic further? About other possible variations: Singing Dishes are okay, but why not Dancing Dishes, Waltzing Dishes, Rapping Dishes, Rocking Dishes\u2026 in and\/or out of the dishwasher\u2026 It opens up lots of possibilities!\" I say, very seriously.<\/p>

\" Hello Marika ? hello ? <\/em>
\"Hello Marika? Hello?\" Yes! The Brits come in at the right moment.
\u2014 Hello John ! Hello Barbara ! <\/em>
\"Hello John! Hello Barbara!\" Finally, it seems that the tech problems have resolved themselves. R\u00e9gis did not deign to move his backside out of his den. What\u2019s the point of an IT department that\u2019s perpetually behind and always useless? Confirmation of rule number 5. \"You\u2019re joining us at the perfect time! M&B is showing us the excellent performance of the Singing Dishes platform.\"
\u2014 You are joining us at the perfect time ! M&B is showing us the great performances of the singing dishes platform<\/em> \" 
\u2014 Wow, great. Incredible results. Marika, well done to you ! <\/em>
\"Wow, great. Incredible results. Marika, well done to you!\"
\nI can\u2019t help but stretch my lips into a semblance of a smile, meant to express my complete modesty. \"Thanks, but it really is a collective success!\" I specify in my most humble voice.
\u2014 Thanks, but it really is a collective success !<\/em> \u00bb je pr\u00e9cise de ma voix la plus humble. <\/p>

I\u2019ve been preparing for this meeting for six months. Focusing all my energy on Prop, day and, sometimes, night too. My dream is for Prop sales to explode! For its name to be chanted when you enter supermarkets, for our product, and all of its variants, to occupy eight full categories: super power, anti-grease, lemon scented, peppermint, island fresh\u2026 One day, the General Manager, unable to restrain himself, will come to me in public and congratulate me in person, in the open plan office.
\"Marika, I have to admit that I\u2019m blown away by the energy, the determination, the sense of strategy that you have brilliantly put into the service of Prop.\"<\/I>
\u2014<\/em> \"Thank you Jean-Pierre, but it really is a collective success\u2026\"<\/I>
M\u00e9lusine and Josepha would glance at me, green with envy and fuming with rage, but showing the calm smile of the colleague who approves a rightful credit.
\u2014<\/em> \"No, this success is entirely your doing, Marika. You've proved your worth.I\u2019m offering you a position in keeping with your ability.\"<\/I>
\u2014<\/em> \"What? So soon? I don\u2019t know if I could ever leave Prop, especially as I live Prop, I wake up Prop, I eat Prop\u2026\"<\/I>
\u2014<\/em> \"Marika, what do you think about becoming my right-hand woman?\"<\/I>
\u2014<\/em> \"Oh, Jean-Pierre...\"<\/I><\/p>

\"Hum... hum... HUM... Marika?\"
\u2014<\/em> \"Uh? Yes sorry, what? Oh, yes, thank you M&B, great. Let\u2019s move on, uh\u2026 Ipses! Over to you!\" Other consultants take turns. Are they the same? More slides, just as positive. More compliments\u2026 I\u2019m struggling to come down to earth. When noon arrives, I call for a break: I can\u2019t contain my urge to gloat any longer! \n

\nFood arrives on a trolley: I let every consultant choose their mass-produced sandwich while I sneak out, pretending I have a very important call to make. Rule number 3: Always look very busy. I go by my desk to drop my stuff off before I catch up with Virginie on the Catman\u2019s floor.<\/p>

Rushing to the elevators, I stumble upon M\u00e9lusine, her eyes red and her Gold mascara all smeared.
\"You okay, M\u00e9lu?\"
\u2014<\/em> \"No I\u2019m in big trouble\u2026\"
\u2014<\/em> \"What happened?\"
\u2014<\/em> \"I just got the latest sales numbers this morning: Niquel+ is plummeting, it\u2019s performing badly\u2026 Even though I did my best on the promotions! Do you realize, it\u2019s going to be taken off the shelves? It was my baby, Marika, my baby!! I\u2019m done for\u2026\"
\u2014<\/em> \"Don\u2019t worry. You\u2019re really not. It is just a rough patch\u2026\"
\u2014<\/em> \"Well, I don\u2019t know. Jean-Pierre expects me in his office this afternoon\u2026 I have a bad feeling.\"
\u2014<\/em> \"Really?\"
I couldn\u2019t hold back a slightly hopeful tone on that one. M\u00e9lusine stares at me for a moment, defeated.<\/p>

My mind is spinning at high speed: if M\u00e9lu is kicked out, they\u2019ll be in need of someone, someone tough, of course, to bounce Niqel+ back before it drowns. Apart from Josepha, who\u2019s already struggling with Klin (she\u2019s under fire from feminists because her ads are considered too sexist, even though, believe me, it\u2019s still the good old housewife under 50 who\u2019s in charge of all the cleaning and the shopping in around 80% of homes in France). Who else but\u2026 me? No, it would be too good to be true. Prop AND Niqel? Never seen before\u2026 It would work worthy of a superwoman. I shift my eyes from M\u00e9lusine\u2019s baffled face for a moment: the elevator glass doors reflect a defiant look, the look of a winner. Yes, it\u2019s almost done\u2026<\/p>

\"M\u00e9lu, I would have loved to have lunch with you, but I am stuck with the agencies right now. Don\u2019t worry though, I\u2019m sure it\u2019s going to be okay. Get yourself some lunch at Cojean! It \u2018ll clear your head, and everything will be fine after that, you\u2019ll see.\" I flash my \"compassionate colleague\" smile, pat her back and leave my now ex-competitor there. Second floor? Fifth floor? Virginie or Jean-Pierre? My heart races wildly, jumping out of my chest as I stand in the elevator. Should I wait for JP to call for me, the obedient and docile hard worker, or should I make the first move and be the one who anticipates, like a visionary? Rule number 2: Make your own luck. My finger presses number 5. When I get to the \u2018floor of power\u2019, I trample like a conqueror across the carpet , a carpet as thick as my future success. Approaching the General Manager\u2019s office, I can hear snippets of conversation: seems like he\u2019s on the phone\u2026 I\u2019m pressed against the wall next to the office, trying to catch the words without getting caught.<\/p>

\"\u2026 excellent work\u2026 one of our best employees\u2026 A well deserved promotion\u2026\"
\nCould it be that Jean-Pierre is already on the phone with the board, authorizing the next step in my dazzling career?
\n\"\u2026 Prop\u2026 Niquel+\u2026 Bechamel Sauce\u2026\"
\nNo more doubt: they\u2019re talking about me! I'm silently gloating, then I hear another voice. \"Thank you Jean-Pierre.\" That voice\u2026 Even if I don\u2019t yet know why, something inside me is starting to slowly crumble.<\/p>

In a sudden leap for survival, leaving all good manners aside, I put one knee on the ground, then both, and approach as discreetly as possible, so I can take a quick glance inside the centre of power. White red-striped sneakers strike back at my scheming behavior and my dreams of glory, like a boomerang.\"Never forget Julien: there\u2019s only one rule,\" the General Manager concludes, like he\u2019s telling a secret, \"always think ahead.\"<\/p>

All episodes<\/div>

Season 2<\/strong><\/p>

The Pursuit of Happiness: How Has the Office Become Our Last <\/span>refuge<\/a><\/p>

\"Bullshit jobs\" : the Millenial blues <\/span>2\/2<\/a><\/p>

From the war in Syria to the protests in Paris: itineraries of Syrian photojournalists<\/a><\/p>

Singing Dishes, The Magic Kingdom of Marketing<\/a><\/p>

Season 1 <\/strong><\/p>

B\u00e9at d\u2019\u00e9puisement : pourquoi sommes-nous si occup\u00e9s ?<\/a><\/p>

\"Bullshit jobs\" : the Millenial blues 1<\/span>\/2<\/a><\/p>

Senegal: Covid-19, the virus infecting the casual job sector<\/a><\/p>

Myriam, the sound of her soul<\/a><\/p>

L\u2019\u00e9xcr\u00e9mentation de l\u2019argent<\/a><\/p>

On a never produced film by Stanley Kubrick<\/a><\/p><\/div>